Joining this lively conversation late- I'm adding my voice from the perspective of being in the pinball business. This has always been an emotional topic for me because frankly it just plain hurts. And it is personal.
I've been called 'uptight' and told to accept that 'pinball is targeted at men'. That I should, 'relax' and just go to the Pinside Meet and Greet at Tilted Kilt or Hooters (litmus test: would you want your daughter working there having men drool over her?).
I'm a woman running a small company that regularly participates in pinball shows around the country. Some of the owners of other companies in the industry almost always default to talking to my husband about our company. Two very well known pinball company owners regularly come to our booth, shake my husbands hand and completely ignore me, like I'm invisible. I've heard that one of these men doesn't 'like to work with women business owners'. One owner stopped us and told my husband, 'Hey, thanks for all the support you are giving us on Facebook. I really appreciate it.' Never looked at me. Frankly, I run the damn company along with a trusted employee. My husband contributes but has another job. I don't like the presumption about my role- whatever it is. I often go to that deep, dark place and assume they think I'm there to go get coffee, look good, do the books or be their secretary. But I know going to this dark place is doing the same thing they are doing to me.
Here is what I try to do with my fellow humans. I try to listen to the voices of the marginalized and ask myself honestly, 'what behaviors do I engage in that may contribute to this problem?' Part of what humans do is judge others (in good and bad ways). The trick is being conscious of those judgments and the resulting behaviors. It's the unconsciousness that kills. And another tip I've picked up- avoid saying things like, 'I'm not sexist' or 'I'm not racist'. It just sounds like you are defensive.