I mentioned it in the Skill Shot Pincast topic, but I think a major part of the male dominance of pinball is that, at least currently, it is closely associated with club-type bars. You know, the kinds like Moe's Tavern on The Simpsons, which is meant to be kind of a social gathering for locals and groups of friends to hang out. This type of environment naturally creates cliques, and traditionally, it has been all-male. A woman joining in is seen as an outsider, someone who makes them feel uncomfortable, especially if this woman is able to show the men up in a competition. Even men who don't realize they're being sexist may be doing so because of their environment, as it's one where they naturally relax and feel less inhibited.
But the way I see it, it doesn't even have to be a bar. At least, growing up, even the arcades around where I lived had their own cliques (though, because they were cliques of pre-teen and teenage boys, they blocked off everyone not part of their group).
That we're even having this discussion is hopeful not only in giving everyone ideas on how men should best conduct themselves and how women should deal with sexist men, but that this has historically been a growing pain for any entertainment medium that's only starting to bring women in. The first thing to come to mind is organized sports (probably because the Olympics are going on right now). The male athletes detested these women coming in and doing their own thing. I don't know of a single case where the next thing to happen is more women joining in and eventually becoming an accepted part of the people involved in it, which is why I think it's just a matter of time before this condescending behavior ends, or at least rendered mostly unacceptable at all times.
As for what to do in the present? I do not know. I do know that there will always be people who insist they're the greatest person in the room, or at least who don't want to feel like they're the dumbest.
Something I want to point out is that competition can bring out the worst in some people. Some people can be rather sore losers, some people become really paranoid, and some people will be willing to do some underhanded stuff in order to win. For some reason, I tend to blend in in crowds and not get noticed or remembered, and as a result, I am perpetually subjected to the "rookie crushers" of every competition I've been to that wasn't pinball. (The idea is that if it turns out I'm doing better than they anticipated, they will attempt to collectively remove me or at least make me feel as uncomfortable as possible).
For the record, if I'm getting a lot of spinner shots and seeing my score go up, my go-to words are "destroying" or "killing" the spinner. Or any other noun. We Americans and our much greater acceptance of terms relating to violence, you see.
If you mean video game culture, I can say with absolute certainty that that is exactly where it's coming from. Video game culture is full of teenagers and young adults who want to feel rebellious, edgy, or at least trollish, so you will see words like that used all the time. The more offensive it feels, the more appealing it is for them.
Remember that this is the culture that popularized "teabagging." (For those of you not big on video game terminology, this is the practice in online multiplayer games where, if it's possible to do so, you defeat an opponent, then go up to the character's corpse and rapidly crouch and un-crouch as to simulate dry-humping. There are some people who feel insulted if their character dies but the killer does not teabag their corpse. I kid you not. I've encountered some myself.)
This is also the culture that popularized the initials "SJW." ("Social justice warrior," a phrase that's now banned on sites like Anime News Network.) Over the year and a half or so since it got started, it's become increasingly popular among young geek communities. It's also incredibly vague but seems to currently mean "a person I disagree with politically, especially if it's left-leaning and/or feminist." A result of the latter has been a (highly uncomfortable) wave of anti-feminism through video game culture, anime culture, comic book culture, and YouTube culture. These are people who believe women in the industrialized world have completely equal rights, equal opportunities, and equal pay (very false, but try arguing with a conspiracy theorist who doesn't trust any sources they disagree with--it's common to hear them say the SJWs have taken over the government and the media, for instance, and thus create whatever sources they want) and that any present-day action in the name of feminism is because they want to take rights away from men and thus must be stopped.
Personally, I think the whole "SJW" thing currently going on is twofold. The first is a backlash against the current political climate, which is currently edging leftwards and thus they want to go rightwards in rebellion. The second, more importantly, is that these are probably young boys who are confused and somewhat frightened by girls and women, and it's a natural animal instinct to lash out at whatever one fears. I think it's no coincidence that the people unironically using this phrase are all college-age at the oldest and that I almost never see these people at public gatherings for video games, anime, or whatnot, indicating they are afraid of socialization in general.
I'm glad this group hasn't made it into pinball, or at least in quantity. But I think a big part is because pinball, by nature, needs to have an offline portion, when you're in a location and at a machine. Hence, it's a hobby that pretty much requires offline socialization.