Bowen Kerins uses a teleprompter on his tutorial videos.
2 Likes
No chairs were harmed in the making of any pinball tournaments this season.
3 Likes
Inside every Data East Star Trek is an actual hair from William Shatner’s wig!
3 Likes
POP is actually a Marxist conspiracy to get kids to learn the “rules” and practice flipper “discipline.” Everything is “free” to the kids, but somebody has to pay, right? Those that “have” must give to those with no “means.” Might as well mark the tokens as rubles.
3 Likes
Nobody will be free until children control the means of production (of points).
4 Likes
More people attended the Wyoming State Pinball Championships than IFPA and PAPA combined.
2 Likes
The next 4 IFPAs will be held on the previously untapped continents of South America, Oceania, Africa and Asia.
3 Likes
Nudging the machine is cheating.
6 Likes
The anthropogenic contribution to Midnight Madness is far greater than previously thought.
China is trying to take our pinball manufacturing jobs. But an unnamed expert dealmaker convinced Stern to stay in the US.
1 Like
The next offering from Stern will be Donald Trump’s Grab Her by the Plunger.
• Shoot the Lock Her Up™ targets to lock balls for Crooked Multiball
• Load balls into the Basket of Deplorables™ and hit the Twitter™ target for the Drain the Swamp™ Jackpot.
• Deport balls behind The Wall™ to start America First™ mode, then hit the Make Mexico Pay™ hurry up for maximum revenue.
• Tiny, childlike flippers.
Only $89,999.
8 Likes
No joke man, this TPP stuff that’s in the news made me think of Homepin and their Thunderbirds project at first. So that’s how mangled this hobbie’s got me.
I really hope someone sees this and decides to do a project pin.
Edit: Convert a Hercules, because a Trump pin would have to be HUGE!
2 Likes
WPPR 5.3 will eliminate the super-pointfest that is NYC’s Modern Pinball (see latest results).
12 Likes
Drain the swamp of special interests?
1 Like
Millions of dead people competed at INDISC 2017, boosting the WPPR value. Karl’s current ranking is a lie!
5 Likes
Can confirm:
• Was at INDISC
• Am dead
2 Likes
I’ve concluded my investigation into the massive player fraud. The evidence is overwhelming. From here on out, all tournament players must:
- Wear a heart monitor, with a little speaker attached so we can hear their heartbeat and confirm that they’re alive.
- Upon registering for a tournament, they must show ID.
- Must be able to sign their name and birthdate with flourish (this will help ensure that they’re not impersonating someone, since it’s well-known that impersonators will struggle to sign a fake name).
- When signing up, all players must stare deep into the eyes of the TD and pledge allegiance to Gorgar, the demi-God of pinball.
4 Likes
Place your left hand on the rulebook, repeat after me;
You got me Gorgar
Beat me you
Me beat Gorgar
You hurt me
5 Likes