I’ve seen a few people (@GApinball & @Nick_BuffaloPinball) post really funny Alternative Facts about Pinball on Facebook. Nick said “Barb Wire is a masterpiece”. Made me giggle because many of us played it (and chose it) at the Upstate NY finals this weekend (right @drgnlair & @gnyc621?).
What are your Alternative Facts about Pinball?
Jan-Ove Waldner is arguably the greatest player of all time.
Josh Sharpe is the winner of multiple majors.
snap!
Keith Elwin, most overrated player of all time, only has 9 major wins. Sad!
Who?
1.5 million competitive pinball players prefer the unlimited Herb style format of qualifying over any other format.
Harsh federal regulations destroyed Zidware and Skit-B. We must cut pinball regulations by 75%.
Josh Sharpe’s favorite game is without a doubt, High Hand!
Bowen Kerins uses a teleprompter on his tutorial videos.
No chairs were harmed in the making of any pinball tournaments this season.
Inside every Data East Star Trek is an actual hair from William Shatner’s wig!
POP is actually a Marxist conspiracy to get kids to learn the “rules” and practice flipper “discipline.” Everything is “free” to the kids, but somebody has to pay, right? Those that “have” must give to those with no “means.” Might as well mark the tokens as rubles.
Nobody will be free until children control the means of production (of points).
More people attended the Wyoming State Pinball Championships than IFPA and PAPA combined.
The next 4 IFPAs will be held on the previously untapped continents of South America, Oceania, Africa and Asia.
Nudging the machine is cheating.
The anthropogenic contribution to Midnight Madness is far greater than previously thought.
China is trying to take our pinball manufacturing jobs. But an unnamed expert dealmaker convinced Stern to stay in the US.
The next offering from Stern will be Donald Trump’s Grab Her by the Plunger.
• Shoot the Lock Her Up™ targets to lock balls for Crooked Multiball
• Load balls into the Basket of Deplorables™ and hit the Twitter™ target for the Drain the Swamp™ Jackpot.
• Deport balls behind The Wall™ to start America First™ mode, then hit the Make Mexico Pay™ hurry up for maximum revenue.
• Tiny, childlike flippers.
Only $89,999.