Glad you posted this.
In one of the first few rounds on day one, I had someone in my group with a bad round. While shaking hands with everyone he said something like “good luck, I’m done”.
I responded with the exact words “you aren’t one of those guys, are you?” (in what I thought was a playful tone). I didn’t at all mean to communicate “get over it”, although I see how it can be taken that way.
If this was me, I’d definitely like to apologize to your friend. Maybe this is a coincidence and we’re talking about a different incident.
I took his comment to mean that he had given up, and the tournament was a bust. Maybe I’m too glass half full, but this is a shame given that we were only partway through Day 1.
After I spoke, he went on to explain that he had set a goal this year, which was now out of reach because of that round. So that gave me better understanding of the comment, and I should have apologized for what I said.
I agree there is a difference between negativity and realism. Realism is venting that you weren’t given much of a chance by the pinball gods. Negativity is telling someone that a two day tournament is over for you partway through day one (though I didn’t have a full understanding of his comment when he first said it).
Even still, anyone is allowed to have a negative attitude. It’s possible that I react negatively to stuff like that because I’m trying to insulate myself from it. I’ve been in a negative headspace in Pinburgh before and it’s the worst, so I definitely try to disassociate myself from the negativity of others so that it doesn’t creep in.
I suppose that other context for me is that I’ve heard a lot of “my tournament is over” attitude over the years from people for whom that simply isn’t true. I feel bad for them and wish more than anything I could help turn that around a little bit.
I will be more careful in the future and I hope there isn’t anyone else who has felt belittled by a (poorly communicated, perhaps) attempt from a fellow pinball player to inject some optimism.
@shimoda Seems like “try not to celebrate the great games too much and rue the bad ones too much” is good advice. Are you saying that’s advice which someone in a negative place would like to hear from a stranger?